This is possibly my last post as I don’t think I will keep updating this blog anymore and to be fair the past year (couple of years) I am not keeping up with updates that well. I might post an article now and then however I don’t see the reason to claim this blog is active anymore. In the same way I can’t consider myself part of the BDSM community anymore. Not that I turned vanilla or that with a magical way my fetishes and kinks are not there anymore. Quite the opposite but the way the community develops can’t make me say I am one of them. 

I am a person who likes to do things in my own way and also like to believe that I have a strong personality which dictates to filter everything before accepting them. I keep everything I like and drop everything I find wrong or just simply fail to match my point of view. BDSM community is turning into what I see twisted and offensive group of pervs. I am using some really harsh words here and I do appreciate there are exceptions out there but I am just talking of what I see to be happening by the majority. If I offend you in any possible way please accept my apologies.

What I see recently is people trying to make society accept us and to make this happen they have taken the wrong approach. They openly try to shock society to get the opportunity to explain why they do what they do. It is my strong belief our lifestyle is far better when it is behind closed doors and not publicly displayed. It is also my belief that we don’t need to explain our likes and who we are. If people can’t accept it then it’s not our problem and we don’t need to make any effort at all to change this.

Being a Dom or a sub is a natural desire and not something like a trend. Sadly enough I can see more and more people getting into BDSM just because is “cool”. No, it is not “cool” it is who we are. Go to some hip hop concert if you wish to be cool and leave us alone. It is not a way to get more gifts from a sugar daddy……they were here before BDSM and they will always be in every type of lifestyle. You are not a sub to receive gifts but to gift someone with your submission as this someone will gift you only with Domination. If you don’t understand this statement you are not into BDSM but only into a game of kinky sex.

BDSM is not a place where you suffer and torture your body because of your psychological issues. Bruises is not the reason you wish to be a sub. You are not a sub because you wish to feel your body covered in bruises and then say how proud you are of them. Go do some boxing or martial art if you wish so much to experience the pain of bruises. Submission has nothing to do with “destroying” your body and if you don’t get it that bruises is the way your body to warn you that something you are doing is wrong then you seriously need to reconsider your understanding of human nature. Sadly I see more and more people stating how proud they are of their bruises or even stating “I proudly wear my Master’s bruises”. Sorry guys, I find this sick and a complete misconception. You don’t wear anything and you seriously have a mental issue because obviously fail to understand that what you practice is only hurting your body.

BDSM is not the place to talk about theology. Is not the place to make a statement of your religious beliefs and believe you are “cool” because you offend the religious beliefs of the vanilla. Trust me there are plenty of religious people who practice BDSM so keep your own beliefs for your self. Who gave you the permission to offend others? Have you ever heard that respect is a must in our lifestyle? This is not only a rule towards your Master but towards every single one within the lifestyle. Go join a cult if you wish to make a religious statement but stop stating that your beliefs makes you wish to Dominate or submit. Domination and submission is the way to build romantic relationships but not a religious practice.

BDSM is not the place to show your body to public and most certainly is not the place to show us how big your tits or cock is. It is not a community of exhibitionism. Exhibitionists can be found in every lifestyle and is not what defines you as part of the community. By going in possible place (online and offline) and expose your private moments and body is not proving that you are a forward thinking person who brakes the chains of conservatism, it only proves that you have no self respect, no dignity and no respect both to others and your partner in case you share how you fuck. Fuck off, this is not my lifestyle and you are not allowed to twist it this way.

BDSM is not the place to practice and apply all your sick – pervert desires to that poor idiot who craves to be called a good sub. Just because you feel the need to control and have things done your way doesn’t make you a Master or a Mistress. Just because you are hot doesn’t make you a Mistress or a Master. Just because someone gets a boner with your body and kisses your feet doesn’t make them submissive nor you a Goddess or God. I see teenagers stating they are Masters or Mistresses and then some other idiots to worship them. A couple of months down the road all of them emotionally hurt and wondering why. I can tell you why even if you don’t like it. Domination and submission is a mental state and you are simply brainless which obviously makes you useless to respect the feelings of your partner. You are just another pretender who claims a position just because a fucking book (and movie) made it a trend. Get the fuck out of the lifestyle.

BDSM is not the place to humiliate human nature, it is not the place to degrade what nature gave us and is not the place to belittle the opposite sex just because someone of that sex hurt you in the past. BDSM is not the way to make a blasphemy towards nature or God. If you just try to humiliate your sub because in his/her face you see all your past relationships/experiences you better go to some fucking psychologist as most definitely need some kind of psychological support. If you really believe your partner is literally a pet and not a human who pretends to be one, if you really believe you may have your partner in home as a pet then you are dangerous and sick. If you also believe it is cool to be a pet, to be treated as a pet and that you are not human you are also sick. Follow my advice and get to a psychologist now, don’t wait a minute more. Petplay is a play, is a game to spice things up and is not that we really see our partners/self as an actual pet. Enough is enough.

BDSM is not the place to find a quick and easy fuck. Is not the place to allow you to have multiple sexual encounters and partners. Is not the place where is just fine to have a relationship with as many subs as you wish and to sugarcoat what you do name them brothers and sisters. They are not and you just toying with feelings and lives. BDSM is not the place to accept that your partner is cool to fuck with more than just you. Check your self esteem quickly and is not cool that you have none, you simply have a problem that you need to find a way to fix it.

I could name a lot more reasons but I start getting angered as I think of them so will stop here. Just in case you are asking the question, this article is not the outcome of an experience or a relationship. It is only me voicing my thoughts and concerns for all I see the past years.

I am not part of the community anymore as I can’t accept to say that I am happy with all the above. Respect the others and accept them how they are does not mean there are no limits in what we can embrace within the lifestyle. This is the problem in our society today, we don’t understand what it means to have limits understand that limits is not about oppression.

I am going my own way, the way I see my self in what I understand as Domination and submission and refuse to say anymore that I am part of the BDSM community. This is the end.

6 thoughts on “Not part of the community

  1. Being a part of the BDSM community and finding people like you is a sincere pleasure. It hurts me that the community is being twisted in that perverted way instead of one earning their position or learning what it truly means to be a Dominant or a Submissive. The true knowledge is being chipped away due to the popularity of 50 Shades that really pisses me off…my ideals of being what I am in the BDSM world and honoring the Old Guard is the essential building blocks of what BDSM is the core, part of my identity. This ‘community’ that is on the pop radar making what they think is cool to be acceptable, irritates me…and my beliefs and ideals are not off, BDSM has a sense of class and dignity like no other that the pop world under cuts then undermines. It is an art form of pleasure that takes a lifetime to learn, not a “flash in the pan’ sexual fashion statement. The Old Guard stands strong with me and my ideals. I don’t think any of us should quit our blogs, it is not what we subscribe to…it what we know is true of this form of pleasure, we should unite and take back what we know is true, we can still blog part time and be influential in educating those who want to know the true art form of BDSM. Our experience and knowledge in this community does matter and we know it.

  2. thank you for that!! and thank you for all your previous posts to that. if i dont read u again.. take it easy..

  3. I totally agree with your statements & how people perceive the BDSM community. Like you said RESPECT is the key! Without respect to each other, we can’t stay create a relationship that benefits both partners. I never considered myself apart of the community due to my own views. I wish you well & hope you find happiness on your path!

  4. this is so sad. I, like you do not keep the rubbish. I only keep what I love. which is why, i suppose, i have chosen not see see all the many negatives.

    I love the man I love because He does not judge me – just as I do not judge Him. I would follow Him to the ends of the world as I know He would follow me. His paints across my body … well, i have never thought to be ‘proud’ of them … I treasure them for as long as they last because for me… rhey keep Him close to me when He is otherwise busy. It is His mind and heart that i carry always.

    Be well and I hope that you find what your soul seeks …

  5. I can’t even begin to tell you how much I agree …. I was starting to wonder if I should quit my own blog because I also don’t subscribe to any and all of what you have just written, and it’s why I have never used the labels.
    To be frank, I have never wanted to be part of the ‘community’ and what you are saying is precisely why! Thank you for letting me see that it’s not my ideals that are off ….
    Good luck to you and your future en devours.

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