Humiliation is strong within BDSM and many times misunderstood from many depending on their level of knowledge regarding the lifestyle and personal experiences. I am not planning to take it to a social or psychological level but keep it as simple as possible in order to help more people understand my point. It is my strong belief we need to explain things in a simple way as this can help more and more people even if they can’t understand us at least respect what we do.
Let’s take a break and consider who would always humiliate another person? It is always one who consider itself to be of higher structure, level or importance who will practice it targeting those unfortunates in life. This is the case throughout the human history and exactly because this is abusive and inhuman the act of humiliation is anti-social and ill taken by the society. Indeed it is really wrong to humiliate people just because they are unfortunate in life. None is better than other in this life. However if we isolate the two parties we’ll notice that we always have a top and a bottom no matter in what nature this definitions refer to.
Taking into account that we always have a Top and a bottom we can easily see the correlation within a BDSM dynamic. However once we bring it within the lifestyle everything changes mainly because it is always consensual as everything that happens within BDSM. In a very simplistic way I will say the submissive is seeking to feel humiliated. It is a desire they have therefore everything is within a well planned scene, agreed by both parties which is far from anything considered as abuse. However it is always abusive as long as it isn’t consensual and I am saying this as some ignorants believe that being a Top allow them do whatever they want.
So within a humiliation scene what really happens is a Top who provides to its bottom something they crave, something they accept and in many cases something they really need to feel. When you are within a relationship, regardless your lifestyle, you respect your partner when you care of their needs and try to provide them all they need. Having said this now I believe it is a lot more clear why I say Humiliation is respect.