Following up an email received from one of my reader I am writing this post to outline what is the difference between a Master/Dom and a Mentor. First let me be clear on my belief that your Master is always your Mentor as well in the sense that he needs to have the knowledge of who you really are and what you really need in order to take you there. However there are differences which can be identified even by definition. So let us take a look what a mentor is in a general way of speaking.

Checking on a dictionary we can find that a Mentor is a wise and trusted counselor or teacher and an influential senior sponsor or supporter. So a mentor is someone who offers guidance, support and teaching and acts as a role model for the person being mentored. Now this can be easily confused to a trainer (though in my way of thinking trainer is your Master and as a meaning is not applicable). Now here is a tricky one. A mentor does not have to be a Dom at all. It may well be another submissive with lot of experience that will help you develop yourself through her experience.

To be a mentor requires knowledge and experience within the lifestyle, and th skills to pass them to others properly. A mentor must be a teacher, and trustworthy enough to be a confidante where necessary, to be able to give guidance, support and advice, without prejudice and with an open minded view at all times. However, if anyone claims to be a mentor and desires to get sexual with those mentoring then something is wrong. He or She should care only to guide you mostly mentally. A good mentor will not have to play with you to teach you what you want to know. They should be available to answer your questions, help you find resources and aide you in your personal growth.

Now a Master should have all the qualities of a Mentor and the same time be able to build an honest romantic relationship with his sub which actually makes all the difference. Another tricky thing is that his sub might be his Mentor. It is nothing wrong to have a sub as a mentor to guide you how to develop your Dom skills and is not something you won’t find it happening in the community. Well if you feel it would be quite impossible to keep it platonic and get the physical out of the play then you just need to skip the Mentor part and go directly to a Dom.

Now this is what is commonly accepted within the community however my approach and belief is slightly different. I do not believe in Mentoring out of a relationship. I don’t believe you need to open your self so much to anyone who claims to be a good “teacher” or who can advice you. The only important thing for me is find a person that you want to be with not only for the physical side of things but also because you find in him/her all the qualities that will help you develop as a person. After all, one of the expectations we should have from a romantic relationship is to get along with a person that will develop our personality in various ways.

 

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