We speak so many times about the submissive, how we want her to be, look like, act like and so many many more that it actually feels like we take for granted that people know what a submissive is. However, researching a bit more and sharing a chat with a few people (both experienced and new ones) one can easily understand there are quite a few misconceptions on the definition. So let us take a look a few traits of who or what a submissive really is.
She is what she is out o personal choice not because any of us as Masters/Doms decided that she will be our sub. In fact she is the one making the big decision out there. She is the one deciding to go with a Master offering her gift of submission and kneel to her Master or Mistress. In the same way, even if we like as Doms/Masters feel we have the upper hand in our relationship in fact we don’t. Even a collard one might throw it away, break the bonds and walk away from you.
Remember, B.D.S.M. means consensual acts shared between adults. Discussions must include a safeword within a consensual mindset. The lifestyle is not abuse or violence against another. That activity is not bdsm!!!!!!!!!!!
In a very general term, a submissive means a person controlled by another and It is a unique type of relationship called a M/s (Master/slave) relationship. It is not a weekend game. It is a consensual power exchange where the slave grants her Master authority over her decisions. It is a lifestyle. I will not get into the differences between slave and submissive as at the end of the day both are bottoms which practically means a person with a submissive personality. It is also a matter of how the individuals identify their limits not how we are called.
A submissive for me personally should be controlled in large tracts of her life, her sexuality, work, dress, social habits, etc. For the old fashioned experienced lifestylers this might sound more like a slave but again even for such a closely-controlled submissive it is up to us as a couple in relationship to identify how much of autonomy she will retain even in these aspects. In short, a submissive chooses to submit and has the option in some area or another to say no to a dominant command. But this has to be agreed in advanced not whenever she wants.
As a submissive, you may not find yourself in control of many situations, but the one situation you are always in control of is how much you learn about this Lifestyle before venturing into it, and how deep you get into a relationship with a Master.
I would stop here as this is enough for now. I might update this article later today but for now I believe the above description is enough to help you understand that a sub is anyone with a submissive personality and then it is up to the individuals to identify limits and protocols.