As you know since yesterday there was a very good reason I haven’t update my blog for so long. I find it natural when you find exactly what you were dreaming in all your life to place everything on hold for some time and dedicate your self there. Anyway my desire to keep this blog running is still here as also to publish my own book. I was thinking what might be my next post and as I decided to check my emails today (for first time after a month or more) I found a very interesting mail. A new Master had an offer from an experienced submissive to be collared by Him. She is giving him this gift of submitting her mind, body and soul but He feels a bit stressed out on what to do therefore he reached out to me asking for an advice. He also mentioned he would like to find a mentor.
He had a bad impression about BDSM because of the BDSM industry but after some research He found out he always had a Dominating nature that never embrassed. Starting from that point I take it he is naturally into it but all the stereotypes never allowed him to connect with his desires. After all he said it on his own. Everything is like sex the first time. What I mean? Did any of you had any idea at all what was doing during his or hers first sexual encounters? You might had the impression you knew what you were doing but the truth is you had no clue at all. We all had only one thing. Nature. The instincts from our nature to guide us through and tell us what to do or what not to do. For sure those are only the basic steps and in years we develop our sexual behaviours in many different ways depending on the influences we have. So yes, my advice to anyone in the same situation as his is to listen to their nature and follow the calling.
The next one is to be open with his submissive. Explain his situation and be honest. Never try to say that you know everything, never be afraid to state that you have little or no knowledge at all. Ask for her guidance since she is experienced enough. Let her show you the world through her eyes and that will allow you to develop your own Dom side as well. It is like the story of the young boy that goes for first time with an experienced older woman (some like me might had such an experience). If you ever had sex like this you know very well the feeling, you know very well that she guides you though in a world that is quite different that you thought it is but also a lot more exciting.
Keep reading, find any related information. Then again communicate all those information with her and see what she believes about it. As I said many times through this blog, there is no handbook of best practices regarding BDSM. What I do with my sub doesn’t mean is the best to do with your submissive. What couples do within the lifestyle is what they find together to satisfy them both and works better for them. A simple example? If me any my sub practice spanking as a punishment for you might not be the best……..It may easily be only a sexual game.
Don’t seek for a mentor. Who is any of us to tell to others what to do with their submissive? Who are we to tell you when or how to punish her or reward her. When you are having your first ever relationship in your life are you running for advices? Yes some or many may have done it. How many times those advices worked out. I would say most of the times actually ruined your relationships if not always. Keep others out of what you are doing with your partner. That she is experienced is a great thing. Your submissive is your mentor.
If any of you has any other idea as an advice for our friend here, please let me know and feel free to post it as a comment.