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A subject many times discussed and loved by many in the lifestyle. Total control!! My question is how total the total control should be? Should we keep some balance between control and freedom of choice? I’ve heard a lot of times people enjoy having the control of their sub life as also submissives enjoy being under such control. I also know that some or many of them are into it so deep that actually the submissive is making no choices at all during her day. I have to admit that I love it too. I am into it and the more I get the more I want but I always believed there should be some balance. Why?

We have to understand human nature and the mechanisms that nature has. How we act, we behave and what we do on a daily basis is a set of mechanisms also known as habits. Our brain learns to keep some routines and according to them expands the way it operates. In some way it is a learning machine just like those they try to build in Artificial Intelligence labs. So what is happening when you get total control of a human to the point all the decision making is taken for many years? Yes you got it.

Now think of the idea of two people living together for long time the one is deciding everything. The Master decided and the slave follows. One day that Master decides to brake up with her. What will be the result on her life? How easy will it be for her to operate when the decision making process is unknown to her? Don’t take it lightly, it is not a joke and what we do in the lifestyle is really serious. If you have any personal experience as a submissive on the subject I would ask you to comment and share it.

Many Masters (or wannabe Master) fail to understand how their choices affect the life of their submissive in the long run. They are happy with what is going on NOW and not thinking at all in what will come. But the essence of Mastery is exactly the opposite. As a Master you always need to think of the future, how the actions of today will shape the future and moreover what will be that future for their subs. My advice?

Total control should be balanced with freedom of choice. Use it only for particular time frames and then give her back the freedom to make her own choices. Keep her brain on the toes if I can say so. What I mean? She will keep thinking what choice would be the one to satisfy you. You may also use it as a way of punishment if you want. As a general rule, I would say no matter what you do keep some balance. As a Master you need to identify the limits and mostly limit your own desires. Yes I love to see her wear what I want her to, eat what and when I want her to, act as a pet or be my table but there should always be a limit mainly for her mental health but also her physical health.

4 thoughts on “Total control BDSM needs balance

  1. As a submissive I make sure that I know what my mental limits are and speak those limits with my Dom. He cannot treat me with the respect due my station in his life if he’s not aware of my limitations mentally and physically.
    I must always be loyal to my wellbeing in order to help preserve us both, its my utmost duty to my Dom to be a healthy sub to him.
    Do I defer to him in all things? As much as he permits, yes I do. My Dom often comes to me for advice and inquires of my opinion & requires my choice – I am neither beneath him nor above him and yet I am his submissive deferring to him willingly in all things, asking permission, questions advice – because he is my Dom. It is the most respectful way to address the nature of the way we choose to love and live. Need I say more?

  2. im not disagreeing with you. you are right, subs/slaves need to make choices. they need to think for themsrlves. and if you really think about it, they do. every day they wake up, and they choose to serve. and i dont care how good of a master you are, i will bet you that every master out there has had at least one day where thr sub/slave has agrued/fought them for an entire day. i personally like total control. but i dont tell my subs every step of the way. i expect them to think for them selves.. perfect example; i dont tell them what i want for dinner. just that i want to eat when i get home frum work. and thats another point for you., if you are a true master, then you should b able to sit at home and doing nothing. your subs/slaves do everything. so if your not paying the bills, then who is?? the slaves that u have, that you told to go out and get jobs.. so unless you picked thr job for them, they made a choice,, and im sure they make all kinds of choices as they work each day..
    so unless your submissive or slave is really a pet, then i believe they mske all kinds of choices… but like MasterP says, dont think just for today, but for tomorrow and the future aswell. if you end a contract or relationship with your submissive, slave, or pet. u cant just kick them to the curb.. get them set up, so they are able to go on living without you.

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