bdsm relationship

I was thinking various subjects for this blog update and what I thought is to add something from my Book. It is about relationships within the BDSM lifestyle. You know very well my opinion is that a relationship is essential to explore and enjoy the lifestyle. One can always be sexually active without a relationship but to me that sounds more than kinky sex rather than BDSM to its core, its heart and its true meaning that extends beyond just the physical. A relationship is the core component which everything is built around therefore it needs to be more than just a play partner without necessary be long term but enough to create strong sentimental bonds, understanding and communication. I do though accept that BDSM as a lifestyle has no norm in what or how should be practiced therefore as always, I do not speak of how things are but how I see it.

A lot who are not familiar with BDSM get surprised when they hear or when they find out we do exactly the same as they do. In general terms, we form relationships exactly as the vanilla’s do. No why do I mention this? I do understand that with books such as the 50 shades and other similar novels more people all over the world start knowing about it and getting curious enough to experiment or explore it. Reading novels and on top of that watching the porn industry some easily may think that as an alternative lifestyle it is a world where lot of the vanilla commonly expected “rules” do not apply. It is easy for them to think it as a world with loose ethics when in my opinion it is quite the opposite. Exactly there  is where the downfalls start and how it the problems start with more and more individuals join the lifestyle. Even more since there is no “must do” book out there.

I do not blame them but I do take offense when I hear now and then comments pointing out to the direction of a community without ethics and self respect. Little they know and little they understand but please, if you wish to experiment and learn about BDSM, educate your self and don’t get involved only with the hope of easy sex. Do not allow BDSM become what the vanilla world is. We are different, we respect, we follow rules and we are honest. If you want to hold a whip learn how to use it, why you are using it and what it means. Same if you like to find one who holds a whip. Why you want it, what you expect to find on the long run and what needs it serves to find the whip you are searching for?

Well the things are a bit more complicated than just a Dom whip or spank a submissive ass, we get a hard on, then we get intensive sex and then we live happily ever after. On this blog I have explained clearly enough I believe how deep are the BDSM bonds. How important is to form a relationship beyond the physical that extends both to the sentimental and the mental side of the partners.

BDSM is not from another world, it is not from a parallel universe nor an RP world originating from some novels. BDSM is part of this world consisted by humans (yes even those who love to be treated as pets) that involve so many different aspect various and complicated as the human nature is. Don;t get me wrong, I do not try to dis-heart you join the lifestyle but because I want you to realize that as you are joining it you have to figure out what you hold and what you leave behind from the vanilla world. Mostly you have to remember that a whip’s mark may heal and disappear but the marks in our souls and hearts never actually heal, they just transform into burdens we carry for the rest of our life.

In conclusion, come and join BDSM but think twice before you want it just to play and “experiment”. Think more than twice if you are doing it just because you decided to follow a trend or just because your friend is a BDSMer.

P.S. This article is altered to fit the needs of the blog though it is part of a chapter from my book. 

One thought on “Relationship in BDSM lifestyle – Master P Book Chapter

  1. I enjoyed this, I totally agree that a relationship in BDSM gives so much more, allows so much growth between you x thank you for this

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