bdsm_love

Yes you are a Master or a Dom and you always correct your sub when she makes a mistake. Who will correct you though when you make a mistake? Have you ever thought that some  mistakes from your side might be deadly? We need to be very careful as there are mistakes that can ruin our relationship or mess up our sub both psychologically and emotionally. Even worst, some of these mistakes might hurt or traumatize your girl in unspeakable ways let alone damaging her body permanently. Remember you deal with a human not a toy nor an object. 

The most common mistake is inconsistency. I have received emails from submissives seeking advice on what to do because of that. Some times I found out it wasn’t exactly inconsistency but failure in communication. I will explain with a short example. A sub is expected to speak only after asking permission. In some occasions her Master complained to her for doing so. What on first look seemed to be inconsistency in fact was a failure to communicate effectively when he expects from her to as for permission and when not. In any case that is something messing up with her brain, punishment that might follow because of that makes her feel her Master is unfair and that is one of the best reasons to a relationship be destroyed. When you ask from your sub to follow a rule be the first to follow it. If on the way find out that you would like to change something regarding that rule, communicate it effectively so she will know why the change is happening and what the new expectations are. Better explain everything in detail than leave her wondering.

Lack of knowledge of the female body. I notice that more and more men fail to read a few basics for the female body. They love to spank but they have no clue how to do it. If you think spanking is just landing your hand on her ass then you are really clueless and dangerous. Ever thought that through spanking you might damage her kidneys? Ever heard that breasts bondage can cause mastitis? You really don’t want to damage her so go out there and search to find any readings that can help you be more effective on what you do and the same time more safe for her.

I am noticing a new generation of BDSM enthusiasts who believe that true Mastery includes roughness and violence. Sadly enough a lot of girls seem to have such an impression and seeking that withing the lifestyle. For your information, Roughness and Violence are big mistakes. I believe most of those youngsters are influenced by the porn industry missing the fact that everything happening there are actually under a very controlled environment. On the other hand if you have psychological problems and like to be abusive or seek to be abused (out of the SSC rule) then you are not within the BDSM lifestyle. BDSM is about control and a Master the first need to learn controlling is his own rage and his own “hidden beast” as I say. We all have a beastie side, we all have to keep it under short lease.

The God Syndrom. One of my favorite subjects I have to admit. You are a Master not a God. You make mistakes and you need to admit them in order to learn and improve. Your sub is there and be brave enough to take her feedback as she is the one knowing better where you do a mistake. This is a relationship and what we do is trying to please each other. If you do something that needs improvement or slightly change it from the way you are used to do it, your sub is the first to know it. To accept her feedback, to admit a mistake, even to apologize is not weakness, it is strength. If a sub identify all these as weakness then she needs to educate herself a lot.

Indifference. If you are indifferent to your partner how do you expect her to grow into what you expect her to be for you. Within a relationship we need to show interest for everything happening in our partner’s life. Much more if we don’t live together. Yes it is fun when we meet to do all that we have in our mind but don’t forget she might had a bad day. Bondage might be liberating but that day she might be in need of a soft touch and warm hag.

Another common mistake is changing your mind all to often. If you ask from your sub something, before doing so, make sure it is exactly what you need in your life. Certainly our needs and desires in the course of life are changing and so our rules or orders to our submissive might do the same but that is not the same with changing your mind every now and then. If you want to be a Master and need a submissive first learn who you are, what you want, what you desire and what you seek to achieve through such a relationship.

I will mention once again the lack of knowledge but this time not of the body but of the “toys-tools” he is using. Yes, it is amazing to hold a whip and land it on her back. Amazing how her body reacts to the touch of the whip, how it sounds smacking on her flesh. You love it, she loves it but….. How do you use a whip with precision? Practice and find articles/videos that demonstrate how to do it. Practice to improve your skills. A whip, a cane, nipple clamps or anything else at all. Learn how to use them.

I believe those mistakes are the most important a Master might do. I believe they are deadly and I hope with this article I am helping you to reflect a bit more and identify if you need to work a bit harder on your skills.

7 thoughts on “Deadly mistake a Master might do

  1. Hello, I’m in a situation where I have met a girl/sub whom is married but has been aloud by her husband to find herself a new master. I have dilly dalled in this lifestyle for some time and she has chosen me to become her new master/dom. Is there anything I should know before getting into this kind of situation.

    1. I like to stay away from married women. Things can get really complicated and the same time what kind of relationship are you going to have? And what about her…. Sorry but I really can’t get it how her husband is ok with this and how she is also ok with this. If they can’t get along together why on earth they stay married?

  2. Thank you so much, for your blog, i realized a few years ago that i have sub tendancies and spoke to my partner at the time in discussion about them, many times I’ve tried to explain the difference between aggression and dominace/control. (Needless to to say I shelved the tendacies and the partner at time) your site is very informative, and one of very few I’ve found that let’s me educate myself in finding if this lifestyle suits who I am, thank you 🙂

    1. That is the purpose of the blog. Help people learn what usually is portrayed in a very wrong way. BDSM is not about aggressiveness is about love and control. How people together enjoy that control and how they wish to live it is up to them.

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