It is a good thing to remember the basics and we all at times need one to remind us from where we started. You see the path we take in life, the journey we take in this world some times feels really small and other times really long but nevertheless during that time we might forget who we was, where we start from and mostly, the one thing that motivates us. I will not talk about anything else here, only some basic rules for any Dom/Master that we need to keep in mind no matter how experienced we are. For those who plan to enter this lifestyle it may also be a could starting point.
1. Be Humble. There is nothing wrong to be humble. We are humans and at the end of the day we are not God. So yes, no matter how good you are in what you do just let your actions speak for you, let others speak for you. When they say something positive thank them kindly and when they make negative comment be brave to investigate if at any case there is a truth in their words
2. You ask from your submissive or slave to be patient but you should be the one to teach them patience by example. Patience is a virtue and you should be the first to hold it. When you start with a new sub she will need a lot of time (some more and some less) to learn your ways, your desires, your needs and anything expected from her. Push her to learn faster but be patient until she learn all of them.
3. Be brave and open minded. Your position as a Dominus or Master is never threatened if you have something to learn from your submissive. Give her the space to grow into your relationship and you might discover a hidden treasure. Admit what you found in her and you will strengthen your position in the relationship as long as you are honest.
4. Be Honest. Honesty is one of the pillars in a BDSM relationship. There is no way to achieve anything without it and as much as you need honesty by her side, the same and even more she needs you to be honest with her. Truth some times hurts but is always rewarding on the long run.
5. We all are humans. Do not forget that. The submissive might like to be an object, a pet, a toy or anything else far from the definition of human but at the bottom end her role is only there to serve her needs, her desires, her thoughts, her emotions, her heart and soul. So remember, you are messing with the inner world of a human and as you hate the idea of people toying with you so she does.
6. Be responsible. We all have to be responsible in this life but in BDSM a Master has to be responsible in a lot more ways than any other human in this world. You are responsible to the extend you need to say no to requests, a situation that might make her feel sad but you have to. Exactly as parents have to say no when the children want something that will harm them
7. Communicate. Many miss the real meaning of communication. Just speaking is not the meaning of it. You need to express clearly and openly who you are. You need her to do the same to learn who she is. BDSM is a relationship of knowledge. Both parts need to know deeply who the other one is. Not only their limits and desires. Everything that makes a person who he or she is. Secrets might be ok in the vanilla world (though I deeply doubt it is ok) but in our lifestyle we need to be open book to our partner.
8. Be sensitive. Surprised? Some might be. To be sensitive you need to have empathy and sympathize. It nice for her to know that you have all that you need to feel her, to feel and understand what she is going through. It builds trust and forges your bond. An insensitive Dom/Master may easily turn to an abuser. He may easily become selfish and care only for his own pleasures.
9. Be balanced. No matter what, we need balance in life. We need our silly moments and the time that we live without caring for nothing. As a Dom you need to identify when is proper to take a “break” (I do not like that word but my knowledge in English can’t help me find a better one) and share some silly moments, some fun in a childish way. To be romantic and speak with the words your heart dictates.
10. Be Grateful. The lyrics “woman be my slave, the greatest gift I can give” speak only half the truth. The same greatest give you will ever receive is her submission. If you don’t understand the submission is a gift given to a Master then your place is not in the BDSM lifestyle. A woman decides to dedicate her self to a Man, she decides to surrender to his will, she giver her submission to a Master. If that is not a real BIG GIFT then what might be? Be grateful for her gift and try to show it as often as you can.
11. Be strong. No, not strong in the way you imagine or you think I mean. Be strong to admit your mistakes, learn from them and develop your self through the process. Be strong to show your human side even your weak side. If she is not able to understand that side of yours, understand that you are not a God (even if she admires you as one) then she is not real and good enough.
I believe the above 11 rules are very important to make a great and good Dom/Master. For sure, some may add a few more so if you think I miss something really important then feel free to add them with your comments.