Checking around different posts on the BDSMfriendBOOK I stumbled upon a post to a link for the differences between a Master and a Dom making me realize I never wrote here about it. I did a brief research and I have to admit I am surprised how much wrong information are out there to the extend that in some cases I found explanations like a Dom is not someone with BDSM traits!!!! So let’s see what really a Dom is and what a Master from my point of view.
As you know Dom is the short for Dominant, and for females is Domme. The word derives from the Latin word Dominus and by definition it means Master or Owner. So initially, I can say a Dom and a Master actually is the same by word definition though we use them as something different in the lifestyle.
Master on the other hand is more like one with big knowledge and experience. Now some say that a Master is a Dom who spend many years in the lifestyle and dedicated his life to learn as more as possible. I do not agree with that and I will explain that later. They see it as an honorable title but there is a deeper meaning than just honor.
Where I strongly disagree with most of them, is they see everything as titles defined on their own when in my point of view, the title is defined by the other part of the relationship, the bottom. I am a believer that a Master goes with a slave and a Dom with a sub therefore there are no other levels. There are no Grand Masters and small Doms. We do not need to complicate things when they are simple.
The similarity explained in the word definition of Dom is exactly what makes perfectly acceptable for a Dom to permit or ask from His girl to call Him as Master. He can’t be an owner though since He is dealing with a submissive and not a slave.
When we analyze and think of titles, the definition of words is really important. So you might be wondering why we need them? In my personal opinion we don’t. We only have to use them at some points just to indicate preferences when we introduce our self to those who don’t know us.
You’re going to hear them a lot nonetheless, and will starting points when we’re meeting potential partners (much more when it is online). As I said they only give a general indication of preferences therefore don’t stay to the tiles one use if you wish to know how compatible you are. Ask for more information if you want to know someone, there is nothing wrong is asking and if you spot an approach like “you are a bottom you should not ask so much” that should work as an alarm that something wrong is going on.
To sum up and give you clear difference between them I will go back to the differences of a sub and a slave. If you want to fully control a person you can’t be a Dom but only a Master. A submissive on the other hand can’t deal with a Master as she needs a less controlling environment. Beyond that, a Master and a Dom are the same.
One last notice. What you practice and how often does not affect the title. If you are into B&D, D&S, S&M or all of them it makes no difference. If you just like a controlling power exchanging environment or sadomasochism will not change anything at all. If that was the case then we would have a huge list of titles defining our sexual and/or companionship preferences. I am a Dom (as I usually deal with submissives) and not a breast bondage slapping and spanking pet Master. How silly does this sound?