This is an article many times thought to write and many times stopped typing as I found it hard to finish. I’m single by choice even if I hate being so. I believe in the importance of forming a relationship as I feel I am a better, more effective man when I have a committed partner. As you know already reading my previous posts, I don’t practice BDSM casually, so being single means my Dom side gets almost no love. Actually there are moments it feels like something inside me is screaming that is left alone in the dark and cold corners of my life.
My biggest fear that troubles me to wonder,is whether the girl I’m seeking even exists. Yes I do realize I might be asking a lot. I also admit that some times I might be asking for what is hard to get. But again, you know well my way of thinking. I never compromise my dreams and desires. I don’t see a point in doing so as I strongly believe that is something that leads in a life which is not the one we dreamed of.
In a philosophical way of thinking she does exists since she is in my mind. She is a person of strong will with an the inner strength that allows her to surrender and submit. As I explained in one of my articles, to submit needs strength beyond the common understanding.
That strength is also the one that leads her desires. She is into submission not just to pleasure me but only because submission itself can give pleasure and fulfill her life. I don’t argue that submitting for “his sake” is something to define a D/s relationship but for me is not enough. I need her to submit for the sake of both of us. To be submissive by nature as I am Dominant by nature.
As you know I identify my self as an observer of human nature. I love the attention to detail and many times I can read people from the slightest unconscious facial expression. I am attentive and curious and so she is. It is important that I won’t need to speak all the time and she will be in position to read me mentally and emotionally. I do not expect this from the first moment, but I do expect it to develop and grow the same way the relationship will.
I am a person who live the lifestyle in every moment I breathe but I am not with a whip and cane on my hand all the time. I have interests beyond the kink culture and share those interests with my partner is important as well. From sharing a silly lough up to discussing the most serious subjects of the daily life, she need to be capable of doing so.
She is a person that knows and understands why I say i do not like something she is doing. She is not getting into “fear attacks” but she gets the point I am trying to improve her and our relationship. Feedback (though I do not like it as a word reminding me a job environment) is important for both of us and we should both seek to listen what the other has to say, comment and suggest.
I am grateful to have her and I always show it in different ways even on a daily basis. It is important for her as it builds her confidence and fills her with happiness. The same goes for me, I want her to express all those feelings that will place me on top of the world, her world.
Free from her past. Well, no one is really free from its past relationships and by nature we tend to judge others pending on our own experiences. Some of us have the ability to distinguish our past from our present. We do use our past to learn but we let the present free to signal our future. In other words as some say, she is emotionally healthy.
I realize the freedom from the past is something hard to be found same as the next one. A person who can communicate effectively and in a mature way when she is under pressuring circumstances. Everyone is fine when things go well but life is a bitch and there will be a lot of times that circumstances will be against us. Those moments show if a relationship is strong enough and communication is essential. If I hate one thing are both men and women who tend to be hysterical in such occasions.
She is a woman who has a unique skill. She can learn new things, understand the bigger picture of this world and she is not living in the bubble of her own micro-world (work-family-friends). OK, I do not expect her to be an expert in geopolitics and international affairs but yes, I do expect her to realize there are more out there and explore as much as possible.
I am ambitious in my life and I like her because she is at least capable of understanding that part of mine or even has her own big ambitions that we work together hard to make them real. No I am not threatened by a sub with a big professional career or even with big plans for the future. After all knowing that such a woman submits to me is really rewarding. What we do in our private life has nothing to do with our public life. The hardest thing though, is that she is also satisfied with small things. She is amazing to appreciate small gestures and simple things even if her dreams are a lot more than that.
We are compatible in most of the BDSM activities we practice but when one of us desires something the other is not really into it, we have the maturity to sit down and discuss it instead of just disregard it without providing a reasonable explanation.
She is elegant, she is feminine in her ways, she knows how to keep her place and boundaries with other people (or even when she need to drop those boundaries), she is determined to keep all her beauty no matter how old she will grow and will never forget to take a good care of her self. She is funny in our vanilla moments and is the person to calm down my brain. She is bringing peace of mind and joy of soul.
There might be a few more things to speak about but I feel all the above are the more important to me. Maybe I should add that she does not care where we live our life as long as she is with me.
Now If you have read all the above and still reading it, you might be wondering of her physical characteristics. She has nice slender legs that lead up to a small round ass. She can be a very tall woman but as long as her legs are nice that is not a problem. The reason I want her tall is because I am naturally very tall (6’7ft). I like her breasts that are big enough to a minimum size that allows to practice breasts bondage. Anything else on the physical aspect is more about harmony rather than what I like.
Yes I know, I am tall and rather fat than fit but again that is how I want her. I am not a Hollywood star and I do not expect her to be one as well but I need her to be a person that I admire her beauty. Admiring her beauty is what drives my desire to dominate her by half. The other half is admiring her inner world.
Now you know a lot better why I say, she might not exist. I ask too much.
P.S. Please feel free to comment as always but respect one thing. Do not ask me to compromise. I hate the idea as much as the word.