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Many people when they hear BDSM training they bring up their mind something like a manual of how to turn someone into a Master or a submissive. The truth is there is no such thing and according to my opinion whoever claims to have the way to achieve that is only an ignorant or one with a God syndrome we should afraid of.  I will not argue that using force and fear you may alter an individual’s behavior but that is not part of the Modern BDSM and of course not something originating from a healthy mind. In Modern BDSM it is a basic principle that one enters the lifestyle either as a Dom or a sub by its own will, therefore what a Master can do is develop the submissive instincts of his partner. BDSM training is not something we may include it within a time limit as it is not a school or a university. BDSM training is an ongoing process both on personal level and the level or learning from the Master.

There are though a few principles a Master should follow in order to help his partner go deeper and explore further her submissive side or even in case she is new and unaware, find out about that side of hers. Searching on the web I find various articles that most of them I find them silly and fictional when they claim BDSM training may include cooking, tea serving, massage, leather care and boot blackening. Maybe they confuse a submissive woman with a maid, what can I say?

BDSM training for me is a Master to alter his partner behavior for their private or public moments according to his desires. An example I will take is my dislike of women using a bad language for no reason and I mean for NO REASON. The more she will do it the more she will be punished. Eventually she will learn not to do so and that is a change in her behavior that I may include into BDSM training. Exactly because training main goal is your partner behavior, you need to be steady on what you ask for, what punishment you may apply, when or why you let something go unpunished and how you communicate this. To train your submissive first you need to be sure what you are seeking out and want from her.

Others, when they hear BDSM training imagine women doing housework wearing shackles and kinky outfit. It is the image they got from the porn industry or BDSM artwork. To be honest I find it a very interesting concept and something you may apply to her for pleasure or punishment depending how you are using it but still that is not a method to train your partner. Of course as I believe BDSM and how we experience it with our submissive is very personal therefore you might need and want something different from what I do.  In any event, that is the main reason it makes important the Master to have a clearly defined concept of what BDSM lifestyle means to him in order to train his slave accordingly. I know I repeat the same but I want to make sure those who read this article understand crystal clear that BDSM training is not just to learn your woman to open her legs willingly when you ask it or even more how she will accept without any complaints anything crazy it may come to your head.

At this point I want to explain I am speaking about submissives not slaves. There is a difference and I do not like the idea of a slave as by definition a slave has no will, nothing at all of her own and she is just a reflection of her owners image and desires. The submissive on the other hand, is a challenge, she has her desires, she might even be a very dynamic person with strong personality who only give up all these for the sake of her Master and out of the respect she feels towards him many times (if not always) accepting she is in front to someone superior. A submissive may not like spanking but she will take it submitting to the desire of her Master knowing she is giving him the pleasure he seeks and that will bring her pleasure as well. The slave …… she likes spanking because her Master likes it. If he change his mind then she will change as well. I believe the difference is clear.

Trust and communication to make any type of training successful is important. It is the best way for her to surrender her will and for you to show you deserve that gift. Don’t forget, submission is a gift given to you by her. trust will bring up the importance of time. It is not something easily taken and you depending on the individual and how honest both are, it may vary how long it will take. A submissive, new or experienced it makes no difference, is ready for development (training) when she is an open book to her Master mentally and emotionally.

A submissive she may and actually she should go from time to time into a slave status in the meaning she has to understand there are periods of times she has no freedom at all, she is owned and she has to blindly follow her Master. How long these time periods will last and how often is something they will find out together. That is the reason that sometime submissives eventually end up to be only slaves denying to go back as they find great pleasure and happiness into that. In any case the submissive by her own choice and will is giving up her freedoms.

Here is a very tricky training part. You will never make it to train one who owns a stronger reasoning than yours though for other reasons (love,desire etc) she may accept to close her eyes to that and for sometime act like being trained by you. Eventually she will Dom from the bottom. Now what I mention reasoning? When I ask from my submissive to do something e.g. always have her hand/toe nails coloured I have to give a reason behind it. I have to show that I KNOW WHY I am asking her to do that. Of course some may say there is no reason to explain anything at all since it is my desire but I do not believe that. I will not deny there are desires we can not explain them fully but anything we can provide her as an explanation will be helpful. She from her side, needs to remember that from the moment you do so and that is a nice way to test her.

500BDSM training my also include fun games who just focus to develop further her obedience. The best way to learn is through fun staff and you may need to start becoming a bit more creative in order to succeed that. Well, sometimes these games might not be that fun for her but it won’t hurt to try them. One of my favorite game for obedience is the heel agony. According to that game, that I love her to be nude as I “torture” her, she needs to stand on her toes with her hands behind her head. I have many different objects that I can place under her heels and some of them may be a bit more….. painful like some dices or small plastic triangles etc. Some will be only fun staff like toys that make strange noises when you squeeze them. Now once she gets on her toes I decide what object I may place under her heels of course without her knowing what was my choice. My order is that she may not let her heels go down without my permission. If she does, I may spank or whip or do anything at all to punish her. Second rule is that if she won’t be able to hold her self anymore on her toes the she has to step her heels on the object and if from fear she does otherwise I will punish her again. Third rule is to guess (after I ask her) what is the object under her heels. If she guess correctly the object goes out of the game, if not then she steps down to find out what it was. You need a lot of different objects, be patient, understand she might need a small break from time to time and trust me, it is not that easy to step your heels down when you know it might be something it will hurt them.

Always play safe and use a safe word, even for a game as the one described above.

 

Master P

36 thoughts on “BDSM Training – Methodology and Techniques

  1. Master P, Thank you… Your definition of a sub is right on, it is me. I believe I’m a natural sub. I have always looked at men as a higher form, even in my youngest years. I was introduced to the lifestyle in my mid to late 30’s I’m now 49. When I met Sir (25 yrs. in the Lifestyle). One of Sir’s first questions to me was, “Are you a slave or a sub?” My answer was simply, “Sub”. Sir then asked me to explain; the only thing that came to my mind was “It gives me great pleasure to please”. Never have I been asked something so simple before. I am now in training, learning and exploring. I’m very excited.

    1. I can say after three years mt Slave has been punished ONE time. I can also say in three years we have yet to have an argument. This is not due to her not being allowed to speak, it is our communication.
      I do not like the term Brain washing , but i a sense we are changing someones behavior. We are enforcing new habits and maintain through being consistent.

      Many do use fear , and isolation , these are used when those are insecure , or new to the lifestyle.

      Training takes time it is not something that happens over night or in a week. Training is different with each , just as rules or protocols.

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  3. I am relatively new at this and I’ve been doing some research. I must say that the information on this site is very helpful. Thank you.

    1. But it would be helpful to have someone more experience to kind of guide you through the learning experience. Don’t you think so?

    2. It is not easy to find a master, but as a sub you can be the dom and train/teach, respectfully, your partner. The hardest part for me was opening up about my desires to my dom only to find he had the same desires. As Masterp35 states, its over coming the fear of your desires. The dom indicates things they like or want and they will state them freely, the sub will willingly do these things. Once you have done something that your partner has asked, report what you have done using titles, such as sir or Mr.

  4. The majority of blogs and articles on this subject always include domestication as a part of training. Nothing wrong with that. But I think it’s limited. Your examples of training are catred to your desires. And also not heavily focused on whipping, spanking etc aspect. There are other aspects to training that can be explored. This discovery is refreshing to me.

    I’m not involved in bdsm as a lifestyle but it intrigues me. It is very intricate. I’ve been reading on it to understand the psychological aspect. Your blog has helped expanded my perceptions.

    1. I do not believe in domestication. The submissive, male or female is not a wild animal that needs domestication. Also I do not believe in fear. It is easy to make people do things just because they are afraid if they won’t they will receive corporal punishment. The difficult and challenging is to make them want to do thing, to make them their own desire. Don’t take me wrong, again the “make them” does not mean force them or brain wash them. It is more like explore their own unknown desires, find them and identify them. Yes my own point of view is all about desire mine and hers and how we will match them. It takes time, commitment and dedication to achieve but once you are there you only live in a world of beauty and love. BDSM is not about abuse and even corporal punishment has to be something the submissive desires and consent to.

    2. Thank you for responding to my comment. I made an oversight in assuming English was your first language and so “domestication” in my previous comment is literally interpreted .”Domestication” refers to cleaning, cooking, and possessing proper etiquette . I’m from the southern region of the United States so the term holds a double meaning within our speech here. It’s also jokingly said to a person who’s romantically involved with a partner or has married their partner. “You’ve been domesticated!” ie “So, you clean and cook now?” Excuse my clarification if your response was written with this context in mind.

    3. Thank you for your explanation. Indeed English is not my native language therefore sometimes I might understand things in different ways they are supposed to be.

  5. I did re blog this before because there is a lot of good information .
    I do understand most of what is here but me being in an M’s relationship the training was much deeper.
    There could not be a book because the same training would not benefit or work with every submissive or slave.
    Training does continue daily weekly and so on
    Thank you for the input keep it rolling

  6. Many do not really understand how deep it can be to take on the responsibility when it comes to training a slave.
    Many do not understand the bad effects if it is only short term, just my opinion .
    To many it is a game but to many who are submissive or a slave it is not a game.
    A lot of good information…

    1. As I see it, literature and porn industry makes it look like a game. For us who are into the lifestyle it is a lot more. Sadly enough books like the 50 shades of shame brings in more and more of those who are just to play.

    1. There is no manual or anything similar. Find out any related info with what you wish to experiment. Try BDSM though is very generic. What exactly you wish to try?

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