Pet slave girl or pet play? A dangerous game for the inexperienced


Recently I received a new email from a submissive asking my advice on some issues and one of them was regarding pet play. It appears as more and more people becoming fond of the pet play BDSM therefore I have decide to talk a little about it, as my guess is that many are not really aware of what a pet girl really is. Even worst, they are not really aware of the fire they are dealing with and how should they keep the scene strictly as a casual play and nothing more. As I have explained in one of my early posts here, there are different levels (types) of submission and one of them is the pet. I know and I realize that most people out there who have a genuine interest in pet play does not really mean pet as a level of submission but only as a temporary status of their partner. Nevertheless it might be useful (mostly to submissives) the knowledge of what a pet slave is and actually what are the dangers in any dehumanization activities. Yes, pet play is part of a bigger group of “kink” that is called dehumanization and is as shocking as it sounds. 

As you can guess from the way it is called, and to put it in simple words, dehumanization BDSM is a practice according to which a person is trying to make another person feel less human or non-human. Even in the vanilla world is well know the pony play as it was portrayed in the porn industry quite a few times. Actually most of the times I see a vanilla making word of pony girls, it is followed by a rather embarrassed laugh indicating a guilt that might originates by some secret desire or knowing they actually likes what they saw. What you can actually find on wiki is the following “dehumanization (pony or animal play) or objectification (forniphilia, becoming an ‘inanimate object’ such as a foot stool)” and I would say here that objectification is also part of the bigger group of dehumanization (I have some examples in the following picture gallery).

At this point I would like to explain something that happen to be very commonly misunderstood. It is not a collar that indicates a submissive as a pet. Outside the BDSM community many people associate collars with pets and they believe that a collar is humiliating or the way to dehumanize a submissive. The truth is that a collar in BDSM has a symbolic value completely different indicating commitment, dedication and ownership. I would dare say it is the wedding ring of our community and that because as an idea they both have the same symbolism.

With the help of the porn industry more and more people get to identify the pet play submission as an activity during which the bottom will have a collar her/his neck and a leash but it is not just that! A pet submissive for as long as she is into this role has no human identity but only the one of the animal she pretends to be. She has to stop thinking in a human way, act in a human way and turn her self into an animal that follows her Master orders and that means the scene might never turn to be sexual at all. Same goes with objectification, when the submissive is just an object and nothing more than that. Of course sexual play might come into the scene during which the submissive has no will at all, or even if she has, there is not way to express it clearly (pet) or not at all (object).

The danger of such play is that mentally a submissive might go very deep inside it and after some point find hard to get back to her real personality. Are you surprised? Don’t be. Human behavior is a combination of patterns, habits and limits (A psychologist would explain that a lot better as also the language barrier here might be difficult for me to over come). From our early years we are “trained” to behave in the way that is commonly accepted as proper by the society in general. We learn to avoid doing things in public that we would love (or need?) to do just because we know that socially are not accepted therefore they are wrong. In the same way a person may start acting in different ways in case they are placed in a different environment. I would suggest to all of you, to watch a movie called the pet, a b rated movie that is based on a true story (and is not the only true story related to dehumanization). Many say (as I do) “One of the major factors in successfully training and keeping a slave is to be consistent in everything you do, say and act”. Why? Because this is the way that will help your submissive/slave grow the patterns and habits that will turn her behavior to what you anticipate as accepted and proper according to your desires.

Cute or sexy?

I do not believe that anyone really dreams to dehumanize his/her partner to such level of course but on the other hand the knowledge of what we are dealing with can’t harm anyone. Remember one thing, the more we repeat something, the deeper we get inside that forming a pattern of behavior. Pet play is sexy (even objectification some times), but you need to learn how to deal with it, how to bring your submissive back to her human side and how to remind her whatever she does is only a temporary scene that even if she loves it, she may not go deeper into it. If my words surprise you then you have never met a submissive who really loved to be a pet and treated as such. If you are a submissive you might have feel such a strong desire even if you have never dared to admit it. In any case, a pet girl is something very cute and sexy but the same time dangerous and hot. To answer the question that I place as subject of this post, pet play is a casual temporary game in comparison to a pet slave that is a constant (or less temporary)  status of a slave girl.

30 thoughts on “Pet slave girl or pet play? A dangerous game for the inexperienced

  1. This is all true… and I haven’t even been deep into the whole thing yet. I had no idea that I would enjoy being treated like a pet this much. I must say that I was not rushed into doing this and that I started to like it right from the start. It can be tough sometimes to get out of it, in the way that it never really leaves your mind. Sometimes I sit outside on the terrace and start looking intensely at the grass and the tree to which I get tied sometimes and I start having urges to just go out there on all fours and… be a pet. Be His pet, actually.

    About bringing the safety of it all… I think that a good Master must ensure that her slave/pet/sub is dealing correctly with this before pushing her any further. I can only imagine how hard this must be for someone who doesn’t want to do it or simply someone who cannot understand why they’re doing it. I mean… there is also a difference between having to walk on all four inside a house and having to walk the whole garden on all four in bright sunshine at 10:00 am while neighbours are/might be outside. The Dominant should progressively bring the submissive to feel comfortable with some basic things before putting her in front of everyone, if he ever does so. Because it does take some internal work in order to come to a point where you just decide to embrace that side of you. But, once you get there…especially if you truly enjoy humiliation play, it’s really worth it. 🙂

    Have a nice day.

  2. Ehh, reading your comments about not being able to find a Master or pet makes me sad. I myself am very lonely and I keep worrying that I might never find the right person, especially since I’m a heterosexual male bottom and female tops seem very rare. I also share monique’s social anxiety and I wouldn’t really be able to attend to the social events on my own either.

    You would assume that since you’re young (I’m actually just 18) and yet very eager to travel and relocate, not to mention having virtually no limits, it shouldn’t be that hard to find someone, and yet there’re just not enough people interested, the competition for the male bottoms seems too intense, and even though most are married, often cheating 50~ year olds, the genuine people fall for that, as would I if I was in their spot, since I’m desperate.. Not to mention that they actually have money, and that sways and eventually corrupts people. (Findoms all over the place nowadays, only findoms and online “relationships”. Can’t really blame them, it’s hard not to be corrupt in their position and how people approach them, but it’s frustrating nevertheless)

    Anyway, have you guys came up with anything yet? I saw it mentioned that alt, collarspace and fet(life, I’m assuming?) were no good for you, ditto here. Personally I’ve registered to fetster a week ago and so far it looks like actually a great site. They have a very good system against findoms and fakes, so that helps me a lot. The site itself is very user-friendly, the community seems very nice and helpful too, the only problem being very few users relatively. The registration may be a bit tedious because you basically have to fill out out your entire profile with nuances like height and eye color before you can actually view the site content at all (that probably scares away a lot of people). I’m quite hopeful about the site, but perhaps you guys have found anything better?

  3. Thank you for the clarification on this topic, my last Master had me as a cat most of the time, and I relate to your article in the sense that I began to pick up more and more cat behaviors in day to day life and even after I was released they stayed with me, here I am months later, and still have some feline traits I can only assume will be life long.hopefully my next Master won’t want me to be a dog lol have a lovely day.

    1. Hi Monique,

      Thank you for your comment. Hope you won’t find one like me as most definetly would ask you to be a dog. Having said that I guess it would be interesting and exciting when the cat instincts get challenged by a dog required behavior :p 😉 Interesting, don’t you think?

    2. It certainly would be very interesting indeed, perhaps I will have an opportunity to find out one day soon.though I believe my overwhelming desire to please would override any feline tendencies if my Master wanted me as a dog.

    3. Well now, curiosity killed the cat lol……but then again …..satisfaction brought him back.
      I’m sorry you have no idea what it is like for a slave on her own, its an incredibly lonely and scary world. I only wish that I could end up with a master as well versed as you. Sadly for most part Alt offers pervs and people on different continents lol

    4. Trust me the same feels for a Master on his own. Alt and fet for me seems like the wrong place go for a search. Never worked out for me anyway. The continent issue is a big one.

    5. Well I suppose lucky for me I’m in north America. As for being on alt fet or collarspace I do not know where else to go, I have bad social anxiety by myself, and can be painfully shy, so going to events is simply not an option on my own. None of my select few friends are involved in our way of life, so no way of interacting with a potential Master. I do not know what else to do. Do you have any suggestions, please?

    6. Honestly I am not the one to give you an answer or a solution to this as I face a similar situation to yours. I’d behappy to talk with emails so If you send me an email through my contact page it will come directly to my inbox and I’ll get you mail address.

    7. Ho avuto la fortuna di incontrare una Padrona FANTASTICA che nel tempo da schiavo,mi ha trasformato in un cane,ne sono felicissimo,ho imparato sempre di piu’ a vivere come un cane e mi piacerebbe diventare sempre piu’ bravo,sento che è il mio destino,non penso da uomo,ma da cane,mi accorgo che il mio sogno è aver 2 Padroni,che mi accudiscono e mi addestrano a loro piacimento

  4. I am looking for (a) kitten(s)/Puppy(ies). Is there a site or a meeting place that the submissives hub around?

    PS: I agree 85% with your post 🙂

  5. Hi, i read your post and i found myself really in agreement with what you wrote. I don’t know if this is the correct place to ask but i want to try. I’d like to learn how to take care of a pet slave, know everything is needed to treat this beatiful activity without put in danger the pet slave.. I found this post really usefull but i’d like to know more.. have you any suggestion? (sorry for my language mistakes but i’m italian 😛 )

    1. That’s why i’m asking, You talked about the danger of the Dehumanization, is there any other danger to consider to “play” this sort of activity?
      I’m consider the Pet Slaving a sort of game, where both the player have to enjoy the situations, but i really don’t know nothing about it, i can think the pet slave as any other pet but i have to think that is a person too, is there any other problems or danger?

  6. It all depends on how deep you wish to go. There are a lot of things you say as if they were statements and truths that are actually debatable and dependent on the view you have of things.

    For instance, while you are right that the BDSM community sees the collar as a “bonding” item, sort of like a “wedding ring”, a symbol of ownership or at least of the relationship between the dominant and the submissive, you have to ask yourself why it is a collar. Why did the BDSM community chosoe a collar? Maybe because a collar is commonly used on animals as a sign of ownership and as a means of control. Thus a collar is not necessarily just a “wedding ring” or a sign of submission; it hints at the idea of animal status and deshumanization.

    Being a “pet” does not necessarily mean “not being human”. There is no necessary deshumanization for it, or at least it doesn’t have to be as strongly done as you put it. Personally, I like to be a “pet” more so than a “slave” because I find the idea of being someone’s lovely pet more appealing than someone’s slave. You can be treated like an animal without going all the way; it can involve patronizing, pettings, leashes, butt plug tails, headband ears, outfits, etc. and can be more or less humiliating. It doesn’t have to involve being stripped of one’s identity, being forbidden to use the human language, or even being asked “not to think”. It’s all about how you wish to do it, and how you and your partner see it. That’s why I disagree with your blunt statement that petplay “is” one thing and nothing else. It is something that involves being treated as a pet, as an animal, but there are varying degrees and practices.

    1. Hello and thank you for your comment and contribution to the blog.
      I am always happy when people comment but today you are the first that actually make a strong argument and for that I am grateful.
      First of all I want to say what I am about to write is not an effort to make you change the way you think or see things. It won’t even be an effort to judge you. Apparently we have a different point of view.
      The animal symbolism you explain for the collars is a very personal approach. I do not see any submissive or slave as an animal but you are free to anticipate it as that since it is compatible with your personal preference taking the role of a pet. I do not believe though, there is any officially explained reason for the use of collars and that is something allowing us to interpret it as we wish beyond the main symbolism of a union. I will bring to your attention that collars is not the first time used in such a way by a community. In the 20th century another community used them for that. The gay/lesbian community started it right after the WWII when the society was clearly hostile to them. The following is from wiki “Collaring also originated and proliferated as a part of gay and lesbian forms of devotion in a homophobic post WWII environment. In this way, collars signified a meaningful union between consenting adults not recognized or upheld by the state”. Maybe the BDSM community decided to follow something that worked before. In my opinion collars originate exactly from the years of real slavery. De Sade who actually started what in years know today as BDSM, lived in an era that collaring was enslavement. I am quite sure a lot of people might have a different explanation to give. That is why, a lot of things I say are in the way of statements and truths. We all agree it is a sign of bonding, a sign of commitment. Beyond that, it is really personal.

      Again about pets, it is a matter of the personal approach. What I write though is what a human pet means. Pet-play is something different. A real human pet is something deep, dangerous and in my personal opinion beyond the limits of sanity. I love pet girls, I love a leashed pet girl even to bark at me but that is a temporary play, a scene agreed by both of us to last for a specific time. Apparently you are not aware, as many might not be, how many cases of criminal activity are out there from predators who used that in order to take advantage on naive males and females. I try to warn people and help them not sugar coat my words. There is also a movie out there (sadly a b-movie but good enough) based on such a real story. Here is the link.

      I love BDSM but I am also aware that a lot of people see it as a great place for their sick or twisted desires. The predators as I call them. I want my blog to be informative and help understand that things are not really innocent in some cases. If we don’t do that, if we allow everything to appear in a novel-ish sugar coated way then we are responsible for everything might happen to those naive enough to fall into a predators hands. We are those who will allow society to blame all of us, point their fingers and claim we all are sick and twisted. No we are not.

    2. I’d like to second Lambda’s point that being a pet does not necessarily mean being dehumanized. It is sort of hard to “argue” what being a pet is or isn’t so i’d more so like to bring up a different perspective on what a pet can be. I completely understand why you find issue with a continuous pet relationship when it is defined as you put it where the pet is not human and might be expected to not think and not speak and so on. However there is a way of understanding a pet where in which the goal is not to become or exhibit the characteristics of an animal but simply to describe the relation ship as one of an owner and pet to differentiate from, for example a slave and a master. Consider a real pet cat for example. The cat is always the pet of the owner but when the owner is not around, the cat is often allowed to come and go as it pleases, leave the house, and do whatever it likes and a cat owner really does not expect much of their cat while they are gone. in this sense, a pet and owner relationship can be constant without a constant need for the pet to be placed under some kind of unsustainable state of mind. Secondly, consider a pet dog. while the dog is always the pet of the owner, the dog does not always an constantly wait at the owners beck and call. perhaps on weekends the owner will train the dog to do tricks, take the dog on walks in the mornings, and the rest of the time, the dog simply minds its own business or interacts on a much more casual and free level, like watching tv together. Consider that unlike perhaps a slave or sub, a pet does not exist to serve the owner. though there may be discipline and companionship and mutual support and rules, one way of understanding the core of what a pet is, is to simply view the relationship as a different kind of d/s but one where subservience is not the core. In general, you buy a pet because you think it is cute or something like that, but of course you must be responsible enough to care for it. at the same time, its your pet, not your slave. so it does not exist for you. it is simply yours to care for, praise, train, play with, and at times simply let be. This perspective isn’t inherently dehumanizing and I would think, could work on a continuous or 24/7 situation so i’ curious to see what you think.

  7. I’d be interested to know your thoughts on whether some enjoy pet play because it gives them an outlet to be silly/carefree/affectionate in a way that feels safer to them than doing these things as a ‘human’. Particularly those who have been hurt/abused in the past in their ‘people’ relationships, giving affection, as a puppy for example, may feel emotionally safer to them than doing so as a ‘human’, or those who were discouraged as children from being silly or carefree, they may be unable to behave that way in ‘human’ mode, but as a kitten they feel free to expose their more playful nature.

    I would imagine that those who use pet play in this manner would be in the most danger of losing their ‘humanity’ than others who don’t use it in this way, because the emotional benefit to them lies in the pet play, therefore they would be drawn to, and reluctant to come out of, the emotional state that offers the most pleasurable mental state.

    Just some thoughts that your post brought up.

    1. Khaos thank you for your comment. I find it a very important and useful addition to my post. Indeed from the submissive perspective that can surely be the case. Most times what we do in our adulthood is determined from our past. Pet play it may certainly work in the ways you described in people who are just afraid to love, to be silly to live their life in full. Disconnected with their emotions and even worst afraid and scared of them.

      I would say I agree that any submissive fond of pet play for the reasons you described is in the greatest danger to go deep into the pet character and in time grow the desire of a more permanent pet status on a daily basis.

      A Master, as I said before need to know why his sub finds pleasure in what she does and why drives her to be a submissive. Discussion and communication based on honesty is the key. In that way a Master of such a submissive should know how to treat her, how often to provide her that feeling and even more, the way to reconnect her with the emotional human side she is afraid and scared.

    2. I agree. If I could be allowed to ‘armchair quarterback’ for a moment, I’d venture to say that a wise Master would use the safety and freedom she feels during pet play as a starting point for leading her back to expressing those emotions as a ‘human’.

      Speaking as a broken/hurt human, although I occasionally display puppy ‘traits’, I don’t engage in pet play, but I am ‘Little’ and it serves a similar purpose for me. I am able to be silly/lighthearted in a way that I cannot do as a ‘grown-up’, because I’m not ‘supposed to’.

      I really like reading your blog, it’s very thought-provoking and gets me thinking about things, sometimes revealing things I’d never realized before.

      Thanks for taking the time & effort to share with the rest of us! 🙂


  8. I would like to read more about this. It is very interesting the way that you put it out there. I couldn’t help but agree with you.
    While reading your post I couldn’t help but think of all the jobs that women try to get in like being a firefighter. Ect.

    1. I am planning to write a second post of the sociological approach. I can’t say when and how much I will write there. For the next couple of days I might not update my blog at all as I need to focus more on writing my book, but I will post a second part for the sociological approach.
      Meggy thank you for reading and commenting on my posts.

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