Today, or yesterday depending on your time zone is the so-called woman’s day. Well, it is not for me, I do not care for this day, I do not have something to celebrate differently in this particular day. From my point of view, this is a sad day, it reminds me that the so-called civilized world is not so civilized after all. I feel the same way for the Valentine’s day and the mother’s day. I already start feeling the anger of some of you out there so I think It is time to explain my self better. Why do we have such days and why people are so eager to be part of them? Have you ever thought that, after all, these particular days indicate that something is really wrong in our society? Before I start saying more, let me be clear, I adore women, I respect women and I feel we all have to see beyond their flesh. As I wrote in one of my previous articles “So in conclusion, the female body in my world is a lot more than flesh as i explained above, is a lot more than something to wake up my urges, my sexual desires only, but it is the reason to live, the reason to celebrate life”. I believe that makes clear my point of view regarding women
Now why would I feel sad for this particular day?Why would I say it indicates the so-called civilized world is not what we think it is? Think for a moment. How many women out there are abused? mistreated? How many “men” are taking advantage of them every single day? How many incidents of abuse do we have in the “civilized” world? I am repeating my words because it is important to think of them. The day of the woman so many care to celebrate it and the next day almost totally forget what was all about, is just one more lie of the vanilla world. They might be offensive, rude, abusive or aggressive towards the same woman the previous day they “honoured”. Same goes with the Valentine’s day. They buy a gift, flowers, maybe some romantic dinner and then, for the rest 364 days are like animals. They forget how to treat a woman, how to be romantic and how to celebrate life with them. Same with the mother’s day.
Apparently, for most of the people, all these days are just another good reason to lie, a day of Hypocrisy and nothing more. It is just one more meaningless obligation that works like a cleansing day. Once they go through that day, all their sins of the past year are forgiven (inside their own thoughts and only). In a real civilized world we would not need such a day to celebrate and honour women, we would not need a day to remind us their importance, we would be well aware we should do it every single day. It is a day that tries to convince us we are a civilized society that respects women. Another phobic syndrome of our History as humans were women had no Wrights and in many cases treated like lower creatures or animals. This is why I deny to be part of such celebrations. Actually, for me every day of my life is a woman’s day, a mother’s day, a Valentine’s day. Every day is a celebration of life and I do not wait another Marketing idea to remind me what is important in life and what should I respect.
Our society is a society of lies, we learn to pretend all the time, and the irony in all these is that most people pretend they are someone they are not, the same time that someone pretends it is another one who is not. Did that make sense to you? The language barrier might not be helping me here to explain and communicate my thought clearly so I will say it in another way. The person A pretends it is the person B in order to be accepted from a group of people. The same moment the person B pretends to be the C again to be accepted from another group. That goes on and on until one other pretends to be the person A and so the circle will close. In other words, we strive to be accepted for what we are not, afraid that who we are is not something others like, the same moment some one else out there pretends to be who we are having the same fear and goal with us. Is it more clear to you now? As I say, if you do not like who you are, do not pretend to be someone else but try to really change your self from within.
How all these fit in the BDSM world? First of all, a real BDSM individual, knows very well who it is, accepts who it is, what it is and expects the same from the others. Knows its own strengths and weaknesses and is not afraid to talk about them. Actually, a genuine BDSM person will love its own weaknesses, will embrace them knowing that is the only way to improve. The real BDSM individual expects to be loved for exactly who it is. Lies within this lifestyle will only result to misery, worst than in the Vanilla world of lies. There, in the vanilla world, a lie is just part of the daily life. One can cheat on his lover and a couple of hours later play the faithful husband with no remorse at all. In genuine BDSM that is not an option. I am talking of the genuine BDSM, not the predators who try to take advantage of it.
The love and respect to a woman for one outside the lifestyle might be very hard to anticipate it. Those within the lifestyle know very well how it works. It is not the activity that indicates our respect but our inner intentions. I will take a simple example. Pet play. Something that to any one outside the lifestyle appears as real degradation of the woman, maybe even worst. They miss the SSC. What is happening during the scene is what she wants, she desires, she NEEDS to feel happy, maybe feel loved or important. It is not an activity that intends to lower her as a person, as an individual but an activity to provide her what her soul craves, what she seeks to feel complete. Here is a thin line. If that activity by the Dom is performed without love and respect then it is not SSC. It is abuse beyond description. The Dom knows there are some limits to respect, limits on what He may or may not do. When he has his sub leashed and walk her around like a puppy, he does it with love knowing that He provides to her something she needs and of course, He receives what He need.
I will talk in another post about love and maybe romanticism in the lifestyle. If one is a real, a genuine BDSM individual, every day is a day of respect to the woman, to the lover. We honour their gift of submission every single day and we are grateful for that. We adore their nature and celebrate life along with them. We do not expect one more Marketing idea to remind us our obligations. As I said before, BDSM is a lot more than sex, it is a lifestyle with a huge philosophical background. At least that is my own BDSM world and how I anticipate it. On the other hand maybe I am wrong but to be honest I love to be wrong in this case.