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You are a slave. In actual practice, of course, masters tend to pay a great deal of attention to the thoughts and feelings of their lovely slaves. Her deepest thoughts and desires, as well as her most trivial fancies and observations, are open to him and, because he owns her, of great interest to him. At another post I will explaing how the word own works as many tend to take it the same way when we talk about an object. A slave IS NOT AN OBJECT but a human who offers the greatest gift one may receive, her existanse as a whole. A man is much more likely to be intensely fond of a girl he owns than of a free individual toward whom he stands in a mere contractual relationship. The latter he does not own; the former he does. The owned girl is a valuable; she is precious; this makes her much different from a business partner. For what it is worth, the most intimate and deepest loves I have known have been between masters and their slaves, that between the love master and his love slave. The bond created in such relationship is much stronger than anything you ever experienced.

Comparing a Typical and a M/s Relationship
I’ve heard ”I cant help but feel that a relationship has to work both ways — not one being above or below the other…” But this shows a common misunderstanding — loving D/s does work both ways.

Equality: Draw a circle in your mind, then divide it in half with a line from top to bottom — that’s a ”traditional” relationship.

Balance: Now rotate the division 45-60 degrees and turn it into a yin-yang symbol — that’s Master/slave.

It’s still 50-50 and still rewarding to those of us that like it down here.

That’s all I meant: it does work both ways; it brings happiness to both partners when done well, as any relationship does — just has a different look to it.

Then of course there is the issue of sadomasochism: ”If I ever did get involved in something like that it would only be as play — I wouldn’t want or like to inflict pain on anyone or harm anyone.”

People’s definitions of pain vary, both person to person and situation to situation. A Master does not inflict pain with no reason or randomly — that’s one difference between abuse & bdsm. A Master will either not do something that he will consider as dangerous to his slave health or what he does he will do it with a different technique than common people do in order to create a different interpretation of the word pain

I can give an example that is often thought of as a ”vanilla” (non-bdsm) technique.

You approach a woman, kiss her hard on the lips while firmly holding her arms, then swiftly tug her blouse open and take a nipple between your teeth. She cries out and writhes in your arms. Is she your wife and you just returned home from a long business trip, overwhelmed with passion to share? Or is she a woman that you have just attacked in a sexual assault?

Understand, context influences judgment: that scenario can be viewed — and felt — as two completely distinct things. One as an act of violence, the other as a delight in passion.

This same issue of context and details, details often known only to those involved, when deciding if something is bdsm or abuse.

Situation, the individuals involved, the background, the method — all have a share in determining which a situation truly is.

It would be painful to a woman that her nipple is even gently bitten if she’s unaroused.

But, if she’s as desiring of your touch as you are in giving it, and she is aroused by your presence… mmmmmm, those teeth can feel really good on her nipple.

All bdsm is Safe, Sane, and Consensual. If it is not consensual, it is abuse.

Sometimes the pair want to be able to scream ”no” and create a feeling of protest — but a true Master will ensure his sub or slave always has a ”safe-word” a phrase to protect her safety.

The safe-word means ”STOP NOW” and is obliged instantly and fully by a loving Master.

Observation of the sub/slave’s needs is very strong in a Master; and her observation of her Master’s desires is equally strong.

The bond in M/s is often thought of as deeper than a relationship divided on the vertical, because there has to be deeper understanding, observation, and dedication to keep it working.

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