Pain, pleasure, sex and BDSM lifestyle. A world of lust!

painpleasure

I was thinking to write something related to the Gorean books yet I have decided to write once more about pain, pleasure and how they are included in the BDSM lifestyle. Before I do so, I will share with you something I found during my recent research over the internet and is really interesting from a social point of view  “Sadomasochism (S & M), which is most popular among educated, middle- and upper-middle-class men and women, according to psychologists and ethnographers who have studied the phenomenon. Charles Moser, Ph.D., M.D., of the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality in San Francisco, has researched S & M to learn the motivation behind it–to understand why in the world people would ask to be bound, whipped and flogged.”. At this point we need to distinguish the difference between S/M and sexual sadism. For many it might be the same but they are not. The main difference is that sexual sadism is taking pleasure by causing pain to an unwilling person when S/M is a consensual act between adults who mutually agree in what will happen. The view that S/M is pathological as Sigmund Freud believed has been dismissed by the psychological community later identifying that only sexual sadism is a psychological disorder and not the S/M. How many times a vanilla couple during sex will add a pinch of pain in their activities? How common is it for vanilla couples the use of spanking when they are having  sex and other activities that will cause pain to the one or both of the partners? The answer is hidden within chemistry and biology. Pain and sex have a common result in our body functions and that is the release of Endorphins. So when a couple during sex is using spanking, they actually try to increase the levels of Endorphin inside the body something that will eventually increase the level of pleasure. It is clear there is no effort to hurt their partner at all. Same goes with any other sexual activity that will bring pain in the scene.

Endorphin is only one of the many chemicals/hormones the human body will release as a result of pain. Epinephrine, serotonin, melatonin and a few more increase their levels and that happens in the same way during sex or pain or stressful situation or a mixture of these facts. In another way of speaking, BDSM can be defined as the controlled environment of pain and stress having as a purpose to achieve the individual the highest possible levels of pleasure that otherwise might not be able to reach them. The environment is regulated by both since it is a consensual act between two (or more) adults, having the participants divided in givers and takers. The Master is a giver and his pleasure is to know the submissive, the taker, will manage to go to that higher level of pleasure following his guidance. That is how I would scientifically try define S/M but not BDSM as it is a scientific fact that pain and pleasure in the human body are connected in a biological way.

Do you really believe that BDSM is an activity of the modern days? I will disappoint you then as it appears to be a sexual act that can be found described even before the Roman Empire. The main difference is that in our days we follow the SSC rules within the lifestyle but nevertheless such old references is another sign that human found the connection between pain and pleasure even during the first steps of our civilization. This is why I say and believe that Marquis De Sand did not invent BDSM but he only described through his works what was really happening between the members of the upper class of the society and mainly by taking advantage of the lower class.  He might have been a monster according to many historians, yet he was not the only one and HE was the one who exposed what the rest within a certain circle did not want to be known to the public.

BDSM lifestyle is an umbrella under which many various minor or major communities or cults (if I may say so) co-exist. For me there is a main and common element in order for one to be considered as part of the larger BDSM community, Power Exchange. That is the core and heart of the BDSM lifestyle, to share the love of controlling or be controlled. Beyond that, many different fetishes may apply, but think of it a little more. Bondage lovers, spankers, sadists, masochists, role players (pony play, pet play etc) and so many more activities in their core have one very strong element. CONTROL. Beyond that, what we do in terms of sexuality, is our own personal way to taste pleasure, to feel the lust we crave and is always acceptable within the community for as long as it is SSC.

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